


Breach

by CorsetJinx



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death In Dream, Dreamsharing, F/M, Resentment, Sibling Rivalry, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 19:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16046987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorsetJinx/pseuds/CorsetJinx
Summary: Sharing dreams with one's Servants allows one to learn more about what lies behind the day to day facade. Depending on the level of trust, it can happen slowly.Veryslowly. Perhaps that is why Arjuna did not notice in the first place - until it was already much too late.





	Breach

"So this is what it's like for you." Rem says quietly, startling him from his reverie. Arjuna stares, feeling faint and keenly aware of the tingle in his fingertips that seems to beg for drawing Gandiva's string. It strikes him then, far more slowly than it should have, that she should not be here.

He is dreaming. _They_ are dreaming, together, and the worst part of it all is that each of them are standing within the boundaries of his mind.

_No_ , Arjuna amends. Perhaps the worst part is how Rem does not look surprised at all, even with the desolation around her. As if she has seen this landscape within his mind, his memories before, her eyes trail over the dusty and pockmarked ground without much feeling until she looks at him. Arjuna's throat tightens at the feeling of her stare. Though she likely does not mean for it to have such an effect he still feels terribly small.

Small and somehow twisted. Everything "Arjuna" is not supposed to be.

_He has killed other Masters for less. For even glimpsing his true smile._

"Master," Arjuna forces his voice to work. Tries for mild politeness, if only for the sake of himself and to subdue the churning suggestion that begs him to silence her.

"Master," he repeats with a calmness he does not truly feel, "you should not be here. It is too dangerous. You must go back and wake up."

A figure shifts behind her and Arjuna realizes that they are _not_ alone. He does not _want_ to see who it is - but his eyes do not deceive him as Karna steps into the spot at Rem's left. He is different from the Servant called to Chaldea. Karna's gaze is no less piercing but he holds himself entirely separated from the Lancer version of himself.

Perhaps the most notable detail is that his half-brother's kundala and kavacha are missing.

Which means, Arjuna senses with increasing dread, this is _that_ dream.

_Of course. How could it not be? He only ever sees this place when something is deeply troubling him. When his facade as the ideal Servant is crumbling and the truth of himself stirs to fill the cracks._

"You know that is not possible, Arjuna." Karna tells him, almost as a reprimand. Or perhaps not. Mayhaps it is only the simple honesty in Karna's tone, the flat and heavy truth, that has always rankled so.

He does not want it. Doesn't want to face it.

"The both of us have come this far." Karna muses, continuing on as if he could not see the building mass of emotion in Arjuna's eyes. "As have you." His tone softens - but perhaps that is a trick. It must be, Arjuna wants to think, because when has the Hero of Charity softened himself for anyone?

"It would be better to end this."

The words are a proclamation. Everything Arjuna detests and desires. Waspishly he thinks _don't you know how often I have tried?_ and then _what would you know, you who can do no wrong?_

Guilt comes close on the heels of that last thought. Karna is not free of sin, only the legends paint him so. Arjuna knows, remembers, because it was in both their mortal lives that Karna's tongue had inflicted wounds on ones Arjuna loved most dearly.

"You have a point." Another voice emerges. From the dark. Behind Arjuna.

He goes too still because Arjuna is tempted to question his own hearing. The voice had been his own. Merely... _unrestrained_ by a mask of politeness and servitude. It tugs at the knot inside his chest, prompts him into covering his mouth with a hand lest his lips be pulled into a smile. The reaction is so instinctual that Arjuna does not notice the way it unbalances him - turning normally perfect posture into a slouch towards his right, as if a weight had been placed on his shoulders.

Rem's eyes find the source of his shame and Arjuna cannot say for sure what her lack of a reaction means. There is recognition, yes - a thing he'd wished to never happen, no one should see _that_ side of his face - but no fear. Behind him Krishna, his own darkness, not his friend, chuckles.

"You returned." Krishna greets her amusedly. Arjuna turns his head to look, to see for himself what form his personal faults takes. What he sees is a throne - or at least a seat very like to one. A natural rise in the earth grants the seated figure a higher view of the terrain, allowing him to look down upon them with ease.

It is himself on that pale construct but Arjuna cannot recall a time when his own features bore such malice. Not clearly, at least.

"I said that I would." Rem replies and Arjuna casts a look of confusion her way. She meets his gaze, expression guarded but calm, before looking back at Krishna. "As many times as it takes."

Laughter is her only answer. It twists Arjuna's stomach to hear it.

"I let you go the last time, Master." Krishna's mirth subsides into a purr. "We spoke for some length, yes. I thought myself generous in allowing you retreat and yet here you are, casting my gift back at my feet."

"What use is it for you to see my face?" Krishna asks before Rem can reply, his - Arjuna's - eyes narrowing. "Does it fill you with a sense of victory, perhaps? Have you developed a thrill for what can easily take your life?"

Arjuna swallows, the Servant aspect of his person raising its hackles at Krishna's threat. Still, even so, he can feel an echo of the sentiment within his own bones. Karna, rather than looking at Krishna, searches Arjuna's face with that damned clear gaze of his. He does not know how to answer it. What the proper answer _is_.

"Master." Arjuna manages, feeling somewhat sick and betrayed all at once. "We should retreat. If harm befalls you here I cannot promise that you will wake and be whole."

He cannot name what crosses Karna's face then. He's seen it before, Arjuna thinks, but they have never been close enough for him to decipher its meaning.

"I'm here for Arjuna." Rem says plainly, hands at her sides though her chin lifts a little bit under Krishna's mocking gaze. She glances at him, at Arjuna, and pointedly adds. " _All_ of him."

"You don't mean it." Krishna counters smoothly, his voice the exact measure of softness that Arjuna feels closing around his heart. Familiar denial, because how could anyone accept him with such ugliness festering in every thought and deed?

Arjuna opens his mouth to press for their retreat again. He is not sure how many times Rem has ventured into his sleeping mind - how many times she has gotten this _far_. But he does know this part of himself _very_ well. If it comes to a fight, as it seems the situation might, there is no guarantee of victory even with Karna at her side.

Rem holds up an arrow, silencing Arjuna before he can even form words. The long twisted head and fletching of blue flame gives Arjuna pause. He knows that arrow. Knows it better than he is familiar with his own gloves or coat. It is the arrow he'd given her in exchange for the chocolates Rem had given him on Valentine's Day.

It is the arrow he'd used to end Karna's life so long ago. The one he'd kept all those years even though it haunted him.

The flash in Karna's eyes tells Arjuna that his half-brother recognizes it as well.

"You think I'd lie," Rem asks, voice soft and her words pointed, "after accepting this?" Her eyes left Krishna, settling instead on Arjuna's own and he could not find it in himself to look away. "After all we've been through?"

_Yes._ The word hung that the back of Arjuna's mouth, heavy on his tongue. _Yes, I do._

"Prove it." Krishna says instead, the challenge in his voice unmistakable.

Rem's fingers tightened on the arrow's shaft. It glowed a soft blue in the darkness, lighting her face with peculiar shadows. For a moment Arjuna thought she might decide on combat after all, or to simply walk away form this.

"My birth name is Manuela." She said slowly, making Arjuna start and Karna shift in surprise. "My father named me Kishori. I'm here because I want to be. No other reason."

"Phalguna." Rem raised her voice, the Command Seals on the back of her right hand flaring. Arjuna's fingers twitched at the sound of the name, heart thudding within his chest as the sound of her voice anchored him. Krishna straightened from his slouch, gloved hands gripping the arms of his throne tightly.

Karna, eyes slightly wider than normal, stared as Rem continued, motionless.

"Jishnu. Kiritin. Shvethavahana. Bibhatsu. Vijaya. Partha. Savyasachin. Dhananjaya. Gudakesha. Kapidhwaja. Parantapa. Gandivadhanvan. Gandivadhara. Madhyapandava." She held Arjuna's stare as his names filled the air between them. Her pronunciation had improved, some part of him noted. She did not stumble over his longer names as he might have expected her to. Each name she recited tugged at him, drawing all of his attention to her and her alone.

"Brihannala." Rem continued, voice steady. Her eyes went to the rigid figure on the throne as she added, "Krishna." Then, focusing on Arjuna once more she finished. "Arjuna."

"I'm here for you. _All_ of you. Because even if the bond we've formed frightens you I still want to be at your side. And for you to be at mine."

Low noise filled his ears, turning Arjuna's gift for speech useless. Past the tightness of his throat he could feel his pulse hammering. His mouth opened, words collecting on his tongue - if he could just summon up the clarity to speak them. He'd vowed, hadn't he, to be her loyal Servant right until the end?

"Enough." Krishna rose from his seat, stepping down from the pristine white stone. Karna straightened up beside Rem, alert as the air became tense. Arjuna turned, mute, as Gandiva solidified in Krishna's hand. Krishna's eyes were cold, mouth no longer smiling as he pulled back on Gandiva's string.

"Sweet words mean nothing if the intent behind them is empty." Krishna hissed, his once smooth voice jagged with malice. And hate.

An arrow formed between Krishna's fingers, electric blue and deadly as he took aim. Karna began to move without hesitation, blocking the shot with his own body, taking aim with a bow that gleamed power.

Or he would have. Perhaps it might have been possible for the Hero of Charity to have split Gandiva's dart before it could cause any harm. Perhaps - if Arjuna had not moved of his own accord, a cry rising strangled and harsh from his throat, an arrow crackling with lightning burying itself in Krishna's throat. The shot meant for his Master went wide, twisted head of the arrow spearing itself in the dirt.

Krishna fell, eyes wide and mouth open - not the serene smile Karna had worn when he'd met a similar fate in their mortal lives.

Arjuna stared, trembling, breath raggedly filling his lungs as sweat trickled down the side of his face. Nausea churned in his stomach and he doubled over, pressing his empty hand to his mouth lest something unpleasant come out.

Rem said something - called his name perhaps, but he did not hear. The world around him was becoming a blur and what remained took the form of an unwanted truth.

_Hadn't it always been Krishna, his friend, dearer than anyone else, who had found ways of reminding Arjuna of his promises?_

He needed to say something, Arjuna realized. Something that would assure his master that he was alright. That -

Arjuna woke with a ragged heave, hands fisted in his blankets and quickly turned over onto his side as the burning in his chest tried to spread up his throat. He coughed, the backs of his eyes prickling. Nothing came up and for that he was distantly grateful. The burning remained, leaving him feeling sick, but at least he did not have to deal with the shame of emptying the contents of his stomach all over himself or the bed.

The feeling passed, eventually. Arjuna stayed where he was, focusing on breathing in and out rather than anything more concrete. When it no longer felt as though a molten thing might try and carve its way out of him he rolled onto his back, the back of one arm pressing over his eyes. With the pressure there he could tune out the angry throbbing at his temples, could breathe a little easier.

"Servant, Archer." Arjuna murmured, both glad that no one was around to hear the croak in his voice and ashamed that it was there in the first place.

He'd promised and then gone back on that promise, like a fool. _Worse_ than a fool. He'd allowed himself to become a coward, wallowing in feelings more relevant to the past than the present.

_How unbefitting of a prince_ , a little voice whispered. Arjuna let his mouth tighten into a frown, pushing aside the thought and dredging up the strength to rise. He could not remain here in his room, sulking. Especially not with such counterproductive thoughts. It would accomplish nothing and he would remain just what he hated... a coward.

And... he needed to apologize.

Dragging a hand through his hair Arjuna sighed. His stomach still shifted uneasily when he pushed himself up to stand, but the drumming in his head was beginning to relent. Dressing still took longer than it should have. He fumbled with his gloves, the familiar material suddenly rendering his fingers clumsy. Finally he discarded them in a brief rise of his temper, throwing them on the bed until he might return and compose himself.

Stepping out into Chaldea's hallways felt something akin to anticipating an ambush. Arjuna turned his head, looking for anyone who might see him leaving his quarters. Despite the many early risers among the Servants there wasn't a soul to track his progress towards their master's room. Still, the back of Arjuna's neck itched and he instinctively wished for a way to guard himself from sight.

Rem looked up as he entered, the heavy mass of her hair in one hand and a hair tie in the other. Her eyes roamed over him like she were checking for injuries, returning to his face when she found none. She looked as though she had just woken, same as him, and the lines of fatigue in her face made Arjuna think of how she had appeared in his dream.

He realized, then, that he had not thought to knock.

"Apologies, Master." Arjuna bowed his head immediately, bending at the waist. "I did not mean to intrude upon your privacy. Should you wish for me to leave - "

"Stay." Rem cut him off softly, looking away so that she could finish wrangling her hair into place. Arjuna glanced up, noting how her hands fumbled with the usually easy task.

Softly, he asked, "May I assist?"

He expected her to say no. Or perhaps to retract her wish for him to stay. Instead Rem let her hair fall across her back, straightening up so that she no longer slouched. Arjuna closed the distance between them slowly, accepting the hair tie she offered once he was close enough to take it. He ran his fingers over her hair, reveling in the feel of it, and began to tease it back.

"Master..." Arjuna began, faltering as the quiet between them grew. "I... I wish to apologize. For what you saw in that dream. And how I... I spoke to you."

Because _that_ Krishna was not his friend, the one who had seen him through countless hardships. The one in his dream had merely been another facet of himself, blocked off and stuffed away in the pursuit of perfection.

To continue to delude himself otherwise would be an insult, to her and to himself.

"It's okay." Rem picked at the edge of her sleeve, relaxed under his hands despite what had transpired. Or she was doing an excellent job at pretending. Far better than he himself could have managed. "You're not as bad as you think."

Somehow that stung. Arjuna felt a frown spread across his mouth as he studied his handiwork, lamenting for the first time that her hair needed to be wet in order to be styled. A part of him now regretted leaving his gloves behind. He could feel the heat of her skin clearly, keenly aware of every sensation.

"Am I so easily dismissed, Master?" He asked bitterly, lifting his hands away from her skin.

She reached for one of his hands, holding him fast when he tried to pull away. Turning her head to look at him she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Sometimes there's not any words good enough to explain things that happen." Her thumb brushed over his knuckles. "I can't tell you anything that will make it suddenly better, even if it hadn't happened to you hundreds of years ago. But compared to the things we've seen together, Arjuna, I don't think you're that bad."

Arjuna lowered his gaze, staring instead at their joined hands. Then, partly because he did not know what else to say, he murmured, "You called me Brihannala in that dream. Among all my names, why did you include that one?"

The corner of Rem's mouth curved, slowly turning into a smile. "Names have power in them. And over the people they are given to. My abuela always told me to never give it out freely once I took up the family business."

"But I wanted you to know that I was serious." She added, turning to face him a little more. "Every one of your names is another facet of you and I meant it when I said I'm here for all of you. And to be fair I gave you both of mine."

Arjuna tightened his mouth against the sudden impulse to laugh but could not fully suppress a half-smile. "Krishna is not one of my names." He reminded her softly. "That belonged to others in my life. My friend, as you know. My wife, Draupadi, carried the feminine version of his name."

"I know." Rem tapped the back of his hand with the pad of her thumb. "But you called your darker feelings that, so I thought it fair to include him."

Arjuna nodded, once more at a loss as to what to say. It did not stop Rem from gently toying with his hand as if she were fascinated by it. Though, when he considered that he never really took off his gloves except to bathe or eat, Arjuna supposed she might be.

"How shall I refer to you then, Master?" Gently he curled his fingers around hers, drawing a halt to her playing. "Manuela? Or Kishori?"

"My dad was the only one who called me that." Rem mused, not meeting his eye for a moment. When she did she'd mustered a smile onto her face but it only looked sad. "You can still call me Rem. But if Kishori's easier I guess we can start there."

Shaking his head Arjuna brought her hand up to his lips. He kissed her knuckles once, hiding the smile that spread over his face when her cheeks darkened. "I would not take that from you, Master. Rem." He amended, lowering her hand. "Why Rem, if I may ask? Does it stand for something?"

"A game I liked." She laughed, catching his thumb under her own and pinning it. "Came out years ago. It was about a woman who could alter people's memories and she had to recover her own. It just kinda became it's own nickname."

He didn't quite understand. But Arjuna nodded all same, pleased to have an answer to a question he'd carried for some time. That was enough, he supposed, for now.

"So," Rem began, surprising him by tugging on his hand until he stepped closer. She leaned against him, a smile softening her expression. "Does this mean I get to meet your dad? Since I gave you both my names and nickname?"

Arjuna couldn't help it. He laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> I will shamelessly admit that the title is a play on the line "Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more”, from Henry V. By William Shakespeare, of course - may the Holy Grail put the fear of deadlines into into him.
> 
> The topic of dreamsharing with our Servants has always interested me. There's a lot of things we _don't_ get to see, to know, about them. I can't imagine that many of them would be happy about someone else poking around in their memories, even if that person happened to be their Master.
> 
> For a little clarification, Rem has been in Arjuna's mind before. But up to the start of this story she has only met "Krishna" the once. It was pure accident and he let her go partly because he was surprised anyone had made it so far into Arjuna's mental territory - past his defenses so to speak. Arjuna, at that point in time, had experienced a rather rough night and his sleep was fitful so he was about to wake up. Rather than risk both Arjuna, the other half of "Krishna", and Rem being stuck in a state of unconsciousness or worse "Krishna" allowed Rem to leave without a fight.
> 
> I did base this whole thing around Arjuna's 2nd Interlude, which sadly is not available in NA at this time. But there's a translation floating around and some people have posted youtube guides. To them, I am forever grateful. The scene has been changed from the script fgo's canon follows - for instance Rem doesn't immediately have to fight Karna (who manifests as an Archer in Arjuna's 2nd Interlude, which is _very_ interesting)
> 
> But I wanted this to be its own thing, so while it does allude to my on-going series "Bonds" I think this can stand on its own pretty well.
> 
> Also, for anyone curious, I envision this "Karna" who resides in Arjuna's mental landscape as having already given up his armor. His bearing is different partly because of that - he is no longer the invincible Hero of legend, only the man whom Arjuna chose to pit himself against over and over again.
> 
> Karna's blutness remains though. I don't think anything could ever get rid of that.
> 
> Thank you, everyone for reading. I greatly appreciate it.
> 
> p.s. - The game Rem references is called "Remember Me" by Don't Nod. Good game, in my opinion.


End file.
